THE OSBY SHOW

Saturday, 3:20 p.m. (starring Bambale Osby and Phylicia Rashad)

This could be the first year that One Shining Moment includes highlights from only two players: Osby and Eric Maynor. Okay, and maybe Jackson State's Stanley Turner.

PITCHERS WHO ARE BETTER THAN MARK PRIOR, VOL. 4


This is a service for anyone participating in fantasy baseball. A lot of people are considering drafting Mark Prior, despite all evidence that he is bad at baseball. So unless your league counts wild pitches, DL trips, rehab assignments, starts lasting fewer than two innings, or draft day signing bonus-to-career wins ratio, you're not going to want him on your team. Everyday until Opening Day, except for on days on which we don't do it, we'll list one pitcher who is better than Mark Prior. Here goes:

John Maine, New York Mets

MARCH CRAZY INSANITY

It's that time of year, when everyone fills out their brackets and then everyone discusses their brackets with each other but it's really boring to hear about it, which is why, if you're a single man, you're not going to get any sex this weekend because girls think you're fucking boring. You say it doesn't matter now, but let's see what you're thinking around 3:30 Sunday morning when the only company you have is your useless, now-tattered bracket and bitter, bitter tears.

Here's some tips to make your weekend of basketball more enjoyable.

See that basketball hat in the picture. It's right there and it's really big. Wear it. And buy an extra in case you get a lot of sweat and saliva in the first one. It shows that you love basketball a lot, and everyone will want to be your friend.

If you go to a bar, bring this comic with you (OMG LOL LOL LOL OMG LOL). Show it to everyone. If they don't laugh, it means they know nothing about basketball. Therefore, they can be told to eat your ass.

If someone says they like CBS's Seth Davis, kick them in the throat. (Make sure it's someone shorter than you, or politely ask them to crouch down. And make sure you've stretched thoroughly beforehand.)

This guy will win your bracket pool:

Congratulate him beforehand. That guy in the sunglasses behind him? He'll be pissed. And later he'll definitely going to get in a tussle at the gun club when he finds out the blondies are gone.

Eric Maynor will be your new god. Prepare accordingly, because he's a vengeful god.

PITCHERS WHO ARE BETTER THAN MARK PRIOR, VOL. 3


This is a service for anyone participating in fantasy baseball. A lot of people are considering drafting Mark Prior, despite all evidence that he is bad at baseball. So unless your league counts wild pitches, DL trips, rehab assignments, starts lasting fewer than two innings, or draft day signing bonus-to-career wins ratio, you're not going to want him on your team. Everyday until Opening Day, except for on days on which we don't do it, we'll list one pitcher who is better than Mark Prior. Here goes:


Jamie Moyer, Philadelphia Phillies

OMG WHAT A CRAZY WEEK!!!!!

I know, I know I haven't posted in a while, but I'm back. Things have just been so crazy lately and I'm totally stressed.

As you know, this blog is just blowing up and everyone is totally stoked on me. But my Facebook friend Ira Bonds and I had a big fight because while we were at the pitch-and-putt my best friend Tad said he thought Ira's cousin Barry Bonds was eating steroids and I didn't take Ira's side. It was totally awkward being in the middle there because I love Tad and I love Ira too and I want them to get along so much. OMG OMG OMG!

So I'm sorry, and I'll post more now. TTYL OMG BFF!