MARCH CRAZY INSANITY

It's that time of year, when everyone fills out their brackets and then everyone discusses their brackets with each other but it's really boring to hear about it, which is why, if you're a single man, you're not going to get any sex this weekend because girls think you're fucking boring. You say it doesn't matter now, but let's see what you're thinking around 3:30 Sunday morning when the only company you have is your useless, now-tattered bracket and bitter, bitter tears.

Here's some tips to make your weekend of basketball more enjoyable.

See that basketball hat in the picture. It's right there and it's really big. Wear it. And buy an extra in case you get a lot of sweat and saliva in the first one. It shows that you love basketball a lot, and everyone will want to be your friend.

If you go to a bar, bring this comic with you (OMG LOL LOL LOL OMG LOL). Show it to everyone. If they don't laugh, it means they know nothing about basketball. Therefore, they can be told to eat your ass.

If someone says they like CBS's Seth Davis, kick them in the throat. (Make sure it's someone shorter than you, or politely ask them to crouch down. And make sure you've stretched thoroughly beforehand.)

This guy will win your bracket pool:

Congratulate him beforehand. That guy in the sunglasses behind him? He'll be pissed. And later he'll definitely going to get in a tussle at the gun club when he finds out the blondies are gone.

Eric Maynor will be your new god. Prepare accordingly, because he's a vengeful god.