MATCH-UP OF THE WEEK: MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL VS. COMMON SENSE

It looks like Allan Selig and his boys struck another blow in their battle against logic. Remember, these are the same people who, despite the fact that half the world plays their sport, didn't start aggressively going after foreign markets until two years ago. (Apparently, Allan Selig didn't realize they spend money outside America.)

First, there was the whole thing about Craig Biggio not being allowed to support kids with cancer. It's especially absurd since, unlike the NFL where every player must dress exactly like his teammates or face a fine, MLB allows their players to essentially customize their own uniforms (especially the pants, which can be the cool looking high socks look, or the Barry Bonds/Manny Ramirez deuchy 53 sizes too big look). Of course, this was just Allan Selig being a smart business man. Where are these goddam sickly kids going to make money to buy bobbleheads? Lots and lots of bobbleheads.

And the latest strike against common sense comes via this year's schedule. Allan Selig lives in Milwaukee, so he must know it's cold and stuff in March. And he also must have deduced at some point in his life that April is the month that immediately follows March, and because of the gradual change in temperature from season to season would therefore lead to possible cold temperatures in the north in early April. So of course, logic would suggest that the majority of April games be played in warm-weather cities. Instead, among the opening series we had Florida playing in Washington, Tampa playing in New York, Arizona playing in Colorado, Oakland playing in Seattle, Atlanta playing in Philadelphia, and Cleveland, Detroit, and Chicago all hosting games. And to make matters worse, Allan Selig apparently had umpire Rick Reed and his crew go on a lead paint-only diet leading up to the season.

And has anyone looked at the schedule down the line? The late-August Brewers-Diamondbacks series will be played in the center of the Earth.