SEXY-ISH-KIND-OF-BUT-NOT-REALLY IS NO LONGER BACK

Sorry boys. Syracuse is out of the N.I.T. That means if you want to see sweaty guys in tight muscle shirts and capri pants, you're going to have to make it Fire Island before Labor Day.

So now we see what Jim Boeheim learned. By that, I mean will he realize that it's no longer 1988, and in the new watered-down, WAC-wannabe Big East (now with Rutgers and South Florida!), he'll have to balance the feeble conference schedule with someone besides Canisius and the St. Francises, or will he continue to be a stubborn prick about it?

BRUCE PEARL IS THE NEW DUKE


The NCAA Tournament gods evened this one out: Duke is gone, but they're replaced by the biggest douche coach in America: Bruce Pearl. Here are three reasons why Bruce Pearl is a complete anus:

1. This

2. That being in the women's basketball crowd wasn't funny or entertaining in the least. Look at this anus. If you thought this was funny, you might also be an anus.

3. When ESPN did one of those behind-the-scenes shows following UT around at the tournament a couple years ago (you know, one of those things where you watch 20 minutes of crap and then it's like OH MY GOD, THE THIRD STRING WALK ON POINT GUARD MIGHT HAVE JUST ROLLED HIS ANKLE IN PRACTICE AND THERE'S ONLY THREE DAYS BEFORE THE GAME HOLY CRAP THIS IS AWESOME DRAMA TELEVISION JUST LIKE AN EPISODE OF CROSSING JORDAN), and Bruce Pearl at one point said "Holy Schnikees." Even when "Holy Schnikees" was funny, it wasn't funny. And you know when "Holy Schnikees" was funny? Never.

That's not to say Tommy Boy wasn't a decent movie that had its moments. Just none of those moments involved "Holy Schnikees." It's the kind of thing that some 50-year-old turd sees in a movie and then tries to be down with the crazy emo hip rad kids. And he's all like "Holy Schnikees" and Trapper Keepers and Matchobox 20 because he's down with what you're down with. (Although Trapper Keepers is actually how he got Wayne Chism to commit.)



So if you're interested, fight back against Bruce Pearl tyranny, and anyone you know who are ones one of these, with that cool "Bruce Pearl is my Anus" T-Shirt you see above, a SHFSB exclusive. (Here it is again, in case you scrolled down too far, you fool):



I don't have a store or anything. Or a bank account. But I think you can go to Spreadshirt or something and try to get it made. I think it's like $25. Plus, in order to get it in time for Thursday's game you're going to have to get it overnighted or something, so that's like another $18. Plus, I don't think they'll let you put the word "anus" on a t-shirt.

Actually, if you can get the above shirt made I'll buy it off you for $50.