I KNOW WHO IS GOING TO BE THE BEST FOOTBALL PLAYER EVER

Consider this free fantasy football advice: If you can get only one player in your fantasy player allocation process this summer, make it Ira Gooch.

As you surely heard about and read about and dreamed about and felt become part of your being this weekend, Gooch (warming up for his soon-to-be legendary NFL career by playing for the Arena Football League's Kansas City Brigade) caught his 100th career Arena Football League pass. And the moment it happened, this pony gained eternal life:


(However, that girl will likely never make it past age 40 because of a family history of heart disease and diabetes.)

After an unforgettable 9-catch, 115-yard, 2-TD performance on Saturday, Gooch now has 106 catches in Arena League play. To put that into context for those of you who need it because you don't understand football, greatness, or eternal life for ponies, that's more Arena League catches than:

Chad Johnson
Marvin Harrison
Jerry Rice
Lance Alworth
Red Grange
Tom Landry
Barry Bonds
Ira Bonds (Barry's cousin and my Facebook friend)
Jakob Dylan's Dad
"The Desert Fox" Erwin Rommel
The entire cast of Crossing Jordan
Spider-Man (Peter Parker or any other Spider-Men)
Jesus Christ