tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-222340072012-02-16T05:26:48.498-08:00Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.comBlogger271100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-41145217238111122282007-07-31T21:22:00.000-07:002007-07-31T22:08:53.319-07:00

THE FROGURT IS ALSO CURSED:THIS WEEK IN LINKS (OR STUFF THAT I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE WRITING A FULL POST ON)That Transformers movie sure licked my balls.Kool-Aid sales are through the roof in San Francisco!Big reaction to the Sebastian Telfair trade, which swings the pendulum of economic, social, and basketball power towards Minnesota. Well, there hasn't been any reaction yet, so I'm just going to

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-6613056605831742262007-07-24T22:03:00.000-07:002007-07-25T09:06:03.487-07:00

MORT SHOULD CONSIDER PHOENIX ONLINEOr at least, ESPN quote-reporter-unquote Chris Mortensen should go back to using his Google Reader for the majority of his sources. It's been a rough offseason for Mort, who has now embarrassed himself on two of the biggest stories of the past decade. Not only that, but he's embarrassed himself while trying to embarrass other reporters who are, uh, better at

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-83933752700731115502007-05-24T22:54:00.000-07:002007-06-08T22:03:34.982-07:00

MARVIN LEWIS MIGHT BE TOO STUPID TO LIVEI would love a job that allowed me to work with raw sewage.Oh wait, I should clarify that. I would love a job that allowed me to work with raw sewage if my current job were in the Cincinnati Bengals' public relations department.As if sharing a facility with the numerous lowlifes who make up the Bengals' roster wasn't bad enough. Head coach Marvin Lewis, he

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-61294583715966712292007-05-23T22:56:00.000-07:002007-05-23T23:10:14.380-07:00

WHY GOD CREATED THE NBA DRAFT LOTTERYFirst of all, the next person who says the NBA doesn't need a draft lottery is getting punched in some body part to be determined.The NBA Draft is not the NFL Draft for numerous reasons. In the NBA, one player can make a much larger impact than a single NFL player can make.And more importlantly: In the NBA the No. 1 overall pick will take up only a small

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-45198678421614596252007-05-23T22:22:00.000-07:002007-05-23T22:45:43.476-07:00

DANNY AINGE SHOULD STAR IN AN ORIGINAL SITCOM WHERE HE LEARNS ABOUT KARMA OR SOMETHINGTerrific is the only way to explain last night's draft lottery. I don't even know who got the No. 1 pick (it was the Ottawa Rough Riders. I don't have time to look it up). Terrific because the Celtics tanked an entire season for nothing.And yes, they tanked an entire season. What other reason would they have for

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-31330822372114999142007-04-17T19:41:00.000-07:002007-04-17T21:24:17.249-07:00

BOSTON CELTICS GAMES ARE WICKED GOOD I hereby proclaim the 2006-07 Boston Celtics "Awesome."And not for their play on the court, where GM Danny Ainge has been battling former teammate and T-Wolves GM Kevin McHale for NBA's biggest dickhole as their respective teams tank the season in an attempt to win the Draft Lottery (karma, if you were ever needed, it's May 22).It's for that ambiance that only

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-46706835789182239842007-04-16T21:10:00.000-07:002007-04-17T09:15:50.264-07:00

I KNOW WHO IS GOING TO BE THE BEST FOOTBALL PLAYER EVERConsider this free fantasy football advice: If you can get only one player in your fantasy player allocation process this summer, make it Ira Gooch.As you surely heard about and read about and dreamed about and felt become part of your being this weekend, Gooch (warming up for his soon-to-be legendary NFL career by playing for the Arena

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-81254277631244289032007-04-09T22:09:00.000-07:002007-04-12T22:22:31.772-07:00

NO, NO, NO. THE KNICKS ARE JUST SHITTYIf you missed it, the latest unsportsmanlike behavior making victims of the Knickerbockers was the Bulls reenacting the dunk contest in order to get their fans free Big Macs. And then Nate Robinson and Steve Francis were all like "hey, how rude of you to consistently throw that basketball through that cylinder thing repeatedly, because our team doesn't have

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-7642182174980050352007-04-09T21:37:00.000-07:002007-04-10T22:38:08.310-07:00

EVERYONE VS. COLIN COWHERDThis is a SHFSB exclusive. No wait, everyone on the planet has already wrote about this? What about Bea Arthur? Really? Okay. And you know what, she looks great. You really do Bea. Call me.Anyway, it turns out that Colin Cowherd is kind of a penis. Which is surprising, because most unknown sports talk radio guys are wicked cool and stuff. Did you know Billy Dee Williams

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-70068560084207035212007-04-09T20:36:00.000-07:002007-04-09T21:07:49.925-07:00

MATCH-UP OF THE WEEK: MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL VS. COMMON SENSEIt looks like Allan Selig and his boys struck another blow in their battle against logic. Remember, these are the same people who, despite the fact that half the world plays their sport, didn't start aggressively going after foreign markets until two years ago. (Apparently, Allan Selig didn't realize they spend money outside America.)

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-29002203032481468172007-04-03T21:30:00.000-07:002007-04-04T22:09:42.238-07:00

FIX COLLEGE BASKETBALL OR GO TO HELLSo many of my reader(s) have been demanding that I share my plan on how to fix the shitfest that college basketball has become, because most of my reader(s) are selfish jerks who don't understand that I have a life outside of updating this blog once a week, a life that includes 7-11 Go-Go Taquitos with my friends Tad and Ira, and watching my Chicago Hope

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-76608225884680588382007-04-02T22:46:00.000-07:002007-04-03T21:30:26.912-07:00

ALL-TOURNAMENT TEAM: YOU'RE ALL WINNERS UNLESS YOU PARTICIPATED IN OR WATCHED THIS TOURNAMENTWith what was easily the worst NCAA Tournament of the last six centuries coming to an end, it’s time to award the First Annual SHFSB All-Tournament Awards for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence.The title game licked balls, just like about 60 of the 63 games in the tournament. If you liked

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-75017521439151772162007-03-21T21:14:00.000-07:002007-03-21T21:30:44.148-07:00

SEXY-ISH-KIND-OF-BUT-NOT-REALLY IS NO LONGER BACKSorry boys. Syracuse is out of the N.I.T. That means if you want to see sweaty guys in tight muscle shirts and capri pants, you're going to have to make it Fire Island before Labor Day.So now we see what Jim Boeheim learned. By that, I mean will he realize that it's no longer 1988, and in the new watered-down, WAC-wannabe Big East (now with Rutgers

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-89064430317700581082007-03-21T20:42:00.000-07:002007-04-10T22:39:13.517-07:00

BRUCE PEARL IS THE NEW DUKEThe NCAA Tournament gods evened this one out: Duke is gone, but they're replaced by the biggest douche coach in America: Bruce Pearl. Here are three reasons why Bruce Pearl is a complete anus:1. This2. That being in the women's basketball crowd wasn't funny or entertaining in the least. Look at this anus. If you thought this was funny, you might also be an anus.3.

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-21800433718600066202007-03-17T01:27:00.000-07:002007-03-17T00:43:52.768-07:00

THE OSBY SHOWSaturday, 3:20 p.m. (starring Bambale Osby and Phylicia Rashad)This could be the first year that One Shining Moment includes highlights from only two players: Osby and Eric Maynor. Okay, and maybe Jackson State's Stanley Turner.

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-35998748842568226742007-03-17T00:37:00.000-07:002007-03-17T00:40:27.437-07:00

PITCHERS WHO ARE BETTER THAN MARK PRIOR, VOL. 4This is a service for anyone participating in fantasy baseball. A lot of people are considering drafting Mark Prior, despite all evidence that he is bad at baseball. So unless your league counts wild pitches, DL trips, rehab assignments, starts lasting fewer than two innings, or draft day signing bonus-to-career wins ratio, you're not going to want

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-37342256631291574632007-03-13T20:28:00.000-07:002007-03-13T20:53:08.666-07:00

MARCH CRAZY INSANITYIt's that time of year, when everyone fills out their brackets and then everyone discusses their brackets with each other but it's really boring to hear about it, which is why, if you're a single man, you're not going to get any sex this weekend because girls think you're fucking boring. You say it doesn't matter now, but let's see what you're thinking around 3:30 Sunday

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-81049904866384346292007-03-13T20:20:00.000-07:002007-03-13T20:52:20.176-07:00

PITCHERS WHO ARE BETTER THAN MARK PRIOR, VOL. 3This is a service for anyone participating in fantasy baseball. A lot of people are considering drafting Mark Prior, despite all evidence that he is bad at baseball. So unless your league counts wild pitches, DL trips, rehab assignments, starts lasting fewer than two innings, or draft day signing bonus-to-career wins ratio, you're not going to want

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-55390361547102258922007-03-13T18:53:00.000-07:002007-03-13T21:04:37.815-07:00

OMG WHAT A CRAZY WEEK!!!!!I know, I know I haven't posted in a while, but I'm back. Things have just been so crazy lately and I'm totally stressed.As you know, this blog is just blowing up and everyone is totally stoked on me. But my Facebook friend Ira Bonds and I had a big fight because while we were at the pitch-and-putt my best friend Tad said he thought Ira's cousin Barry Bonds was eating

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-20649203994535691182007-03-10T10:58:00.000-08:002007-03-10T11:02:12.685-08:00

PITCHERS WHO ARE BETTER THAN MARK PRIOR, VOL. 2This is a service for anyone participating in fantasy baseball. A lot of people are considering drafting Mark Prior, despite all evidence that he is bad at baseball. So unless your league counts wild pitches, DL trips, rehab assignments, starts lasting fewer than two innings, or draft day signing bonus-to-career wins ratio, you're not going to want

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-36889604696643389232007-03-10T10:39:00.000-08:002007-03-10T11:04:23.753-08:00

THE FUTURE OF BASKETBALL UNIFORMSORWELCOME TO SYRACUSE BASKETBALL, I LOVE YOUI had to let these new Syracuse uniforms marinate for a couple days. When I first saw them, I assumed I had been selected by the Pentagon to be the guinea pig for a top-secret hibernation program. Forgotten, I awoke 500 years in the future. I discovered a society so incredibly dumbed-down that I'm easily the most

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-53061499975283911512007-03-09T20:31:00.000-08:002007-03-10T11:25:50.422-08:00

SPRING MEANS BUTCH HUSKEYRemember this fresh-faced youngster? In the mid-90's, Butch Huskey was to spring training what God is to church, or something along those lines. And like all great athletes, he called it quits at age 29 when he was well past his prime.We gave Butch a call recently to ask about life after baseball and what he thinks of Simpsons seasons 10-18, which pretty much suck.Butch:

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-27011768551721235202007-03-06T21:50:00.000-08:002007-03-06T20:43:24.670-08:00

PLAYER OF THE WEEK (MARCH 5-11): NIRVANAI know it's Tuesday night, but the votes have been counted, and it's 1-0 for Nirvana.I was watching the tele the other day and heard Breed playing on a commercial for MLB 2K7. Did it excite your emotions? Should you be outraged? Probably.But since I have no readers, I'm going to have to disagree with myself. It's a fucking awesome song and it's cool that I

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-44957650258872077972007-03-06T20:20:00.000-08:002007-03-06T20:48:08.787-08:00

PITCHERS WHO ARE BETTER THAN MARK PRIOR, VOL. 1This is a service for anyone participating in fantasy baseball. A lot of people are considering drafting Mark Prior, despite all evidence that he is bad at baseball. So unless your league counts wild pitches, DL trips, rehab assignments, starts lasting fewer than two innings, or draft day signing bonus-to-career wins ratio, you're not going to want

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-59551412705756160522007-03-05T18:19:00.000-08:002007-03-07T15:27:42.299-08:00

BARRY BONDS = NOT SPECIALWell, all the home runs and stuff are. And even before he naturally doubled in size sometime in his early 30's he was actually very special. And even as a kid he was very special because his dad was an awesome baseball player. But Barry Bonds is not special for receiving death threats, as he told some radio show that no one listens to.Every professional athlete gets death

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-8040753600603213452007-03-05T17:57:00.000-08:002007-03-05T20:29:47.471-08:00

YOU HAVE BEEN NAMED TO AN ALL-BIG EAST MEN'S BASKETBALL TEAMCongratulations. If you have ever been affiliated with a Big East school (like, say, that time you had a connecting flight in Louisville), you were named to the men's basketball team. See the full team here. Anyone under the heading "honorable mention" should be ashamed. Not only are you awful at basketball, but you probably smell

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22234007.post-64214687385896541212007-03-05T17:25:00.000-08:002007-03-06T20:49:25.033-08:00

JOURNALISM IS HARDFrom Profootballtalk.com, which generally kicks ass:"Earlier on Monday, the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review reported that Steelers cornerback Deshea Townsend and practice squad player Raymond Burgess were arrested over the weekend. But we later learned that Burgess is not, and never has been, a member of the team. Instead, he's a bartender at the club where the fight occurred.

Steve Bennetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04281993337704308274noreply@blogger.com1